How to move on after a heart break

When we first fall in love, we never imagine there could be a time when we’ll be struggling looking for therapy on how to move on after heart break. Quite sure you never envisage the so called good old days will come to a complete halt someday. Here we are and I assure you you will sure pick up the spark again and lead a better life.

Heart break no matter how far the relationship was, isn’t the end of love. Probably you lost it all to this person you once fell for and now the muse has gone. Don’t be sober forever; stand up and shape your life to exactly how you want it.

see also: How to find happiness in life

Heart break can be very devastating especially when you thought you’re at the end of the road and suddenly it’s glaring your journey just begun. You have to properly deal with the pains of heart break so it doesn’t follow you like a piece of poo from a poorly handled bowel emptying. If not properly tamed it can ruin your life. This is actually the only reason am writing about this topic. I want you to go through heart break and come out victoriously.

The following steps will help you move on after heart break:

Remember the popular saying, “Time heals”. I personally don’t fault this, just that often than non you need just more than time to catch your groove again. Have you not met someone who refused to try relationship again because they were saddled with heart break some decades ago. Infact I once worked under a medic boss, who isn’t into anything relationship because of a sad love story with a nurse some two decades ago. It was that bad that he lost interest in any relationship with the opposite sex, including marriage and having kids. And it will surprise you to know he isn’t gay; wondering how I got to know? I and my colleagues monitored closely and we came to this inference. Heart break can redefine your life and keep you hating what others love.

To heal from heart break, start by processing the situation, take a pen and paper, sit out on somewhere cosy and have a meeting with yourself. Try your best to analyse the situation and take serial keen observation of the event that transpired and how it got to a crash. This will help you become better even as you venture into life as there would be many other dates and relationships after a failed attempt. While processing the situation, you’ll come to realize what really went wrong. At times you’d find nothing really wrong with your disposition towards your partner that ultimately culminated into a heart break. If this is the case then you definitely know that relationship wasn’t meant to be and that person was just there for what they could gain momentarily. You obviously don’t want to be in that kind of relationship and should be grateful to God it ended when it did. If on the contrary you find may loopholes and lapses on your attitude towards your partner that led to the heart break and you’ve tried to apologize and its not working. My advice here is that shit happens, so don’t kill yourself because you made a mistake which is normal with humans. We are all liable to one or two errors as time goes and owe our partners apology when we falter. Also know that people have different threshold for forgiveness and what seem unforgivable to one might be a look over for another. For example not all men and women can forgive a cheat for a partner. The essence of this is not to heap yourself with guilt and worsen the situation the more but to really understand the situation and find learning points. After processing the situation, chew and digest it. Don’t also forget to deal with the feelings that accompany it.

See also: How to overcome self guilt

The next step of breaking free from heart break is to avoid taking it personal; why in the world will I say you shouldn’t take something that ought to be personal to heart. Since you’ve been hard on yourself have you had any positive results? Why not think in terms of time and know that if time wasn’t right nothing is really going to work out. Have you not been in that situation where you saw your Ex from high school and ask yourself what really attracted you in them. What’s the difference with then and now; its simple most human needs and wants change with time . When you start seeing things in this light, you will come to understand that the heart break came because it was time for the chapter to fizzle out. Try to destroy every destructive feeling of thinking you’re responsible for the fall out. Just know that even your worst qualities with one guy or girl might be something someone is is craving for. This doesn’t mean an encouragement of an established bad behaviour or attitude; the room for improvement is the biggest room available to men and women.

The next step is to count your own pulse, doctors do this each time you pay them a visit. I want to encourage you to do exactly the same thing. This simply means you should break free from heart break by feeling your own feelings. Don’t hide or bury it and don’t sweep it under the carpet. You really need to masturbate on your feelings and sorrow over what you thought could have been.

When someone who became part and parcel of your life parts, it can almost feel like a near death experience but not to worry after the rain comes the sun. Just take it as one of those things and move on. You’d be forgiven when you fall but when you fall and refuse rising even nature holds it against you. Life must move on no matter the rock that hit you in the past.

The other step is to write your Ex a letter but don’t send it. This can help your grieving process. This is very therapeutic; it helps in putting your emotions all together. This gives you the opportunity to express yourself and venge. When you let go of the fury by writing, you’d find new strength and happiness. Overtime the memories of this letters will sure breed you happiness.

The other thing you can do to help with moving on after heartbreak; is to surround your life with more love. Losing someone you love, leaves a huge vacuum which only you can fill if you’re really serious. There are so many things out there to derive love outside the love of the opposite sex. Your family, best friends or best hobby could just do for you. Just find something that you love doing and spend time on it. Don’t suddenly become a loner because you got unlucky with relationships. You definitely need the very same people you left when the fever of love caught up with you. This set of people are really the people that truly love and cherish you; don’t despise them. I know of a lady who recently got a divorce and became overtly active with exercises and recipes. At a point I was one of her major critics till I acquainted myself with why she found a new love in physical activities and exercises.

Yet another way on how to move on after heart break, is to find something positive out of every situation. The popular saying urges us to prefer a broken relationship to a broken marriage if your married already. Even if you’re married and your spouse filled for a divorce; don’t go killing yourself with thoughts of what should have been rather be thankful to God it ended without taking your head. You’ve heard of people who lost their lives in abusive relationships but that’s definitely not your case. Remember that what will be will be no matter the ditches and hitches.

Finally start anticipating your next relationship and find better ways to enjoy love and life. Just one taste of raw undiluted love can make you realize that all men and women are not the same. There is someone out there with genuine intention towards you, he/she isn’t far; just let go of what currently hurts you so you’d see clearly.